Reflection on Open Letter Draft

In this blog post, I will reflect on the feedback provided by my peers on my final project. I reviewed Grace's letter and Aaron's letter.

"Bathmat Pugs," Olivia Wann. 

The most helpful thing about peer review on the final project, was that it helped me see what my letter was missing. My rough draft is only about a page long, and I sat around thinking of what I could add, and my peers helped me see what was needed. For example, Hunter suggested that I could add a paragraph about how I approach a writing situation.

I think that my letter does a good job of analyzing myself as a writer. I tried to be as honest as possible, which I think you can see when reading it.

One thing that I will add is "an analysis of your writing assignments." I touched on my assignments, but some specific details need to be added.

I only have one quote from my own writing right now, so I will be adding more.

I do explain my choices and their effects that they had on my work in the class. Once again, this will help me add more specifics in my writing.

Draft of Open Letter

In this blog post, I have combined two blog posts from the beginning of the year in order to construct a rough draft of the final project.

"Worried Pugs," Olivia Wann (@nakedpugs via Instagram). 

My rough draft presents a "then and now" of my writing process and time management. For the most part, things haven't changed, and this is what I will reflect on in my open letter. Please feel free to provide feedback. The draft can be found here. 

Reflecting More on My Writing Process

In this blog post, I will answer some questions about myself as a writer in English 109.

"Monday Morning Pugs," Olivia Wann (@nakedpugs via instagram).  

1. I think my biggest challenge this semester was grasping the prompts. I eventually got it, but I really wanted to understand, so that I could address all of the parts. I think my biggest challenge was project two, "You have been asked to write an analytical document by a distinguished professor in your department" (Bottai). This project took a few re-reads of the prompt.

2. I learned that I'm pretty good under pressure. Yes, I care about my grades and work, but I do not let it make me stressed out and worried. I like to have balance in my life- there is no way that I will now or ever spend hours everyday working on homework. I am able to get my writing assignments done pretty quickly.

3. Before this class, I wasn't too familiar with many genres. I now know different genres and understand that not every writing assignment is an "essay." There are many different genres to write in, and I actually love the QRG and Blog genres.

4. I will definitely be more honest and opinionated in my writing. It's refreshing to not write everything so formally, and I think that you see someone's true colors when they're able to express themselves in writing however they want.

5. I think that my most effective moment was in my 3rd project: "Artificial sweeteners are everywhere- stevia, splenda, extra...you’ve seen them. They’re pushed on diabetics especially because they contain no calories and make foods sweet. They’re FDA approved so they may seem safe, but studies show that they can have negative impacts to your body. Since they don’t raise your blood sugar, your brain doesn’t do as good of a job at telling you that you’re full. This can make you eat even more than you normally would. Also, they can cause changes in the content of microorganisms in your gut, which can also cause weight gain." I think that it it effective because it's simple but gets the point across.

6. I think that my least effective moment was in project 2: "When analyzing an act of public argument, it is important that you cover all of your bases. Doing research on the author is crucial because it can give you insight into their credibility and any biases that they may have. Looking into the target audience can show you why they use the techniques that they do to prove their points. Also, look at the strategies that they use. Are they focusing on one more than the other? Why do they use the ones that they do? In the field of nutrition, you must look at all sides of the story in order to provide the most unbiased argument as possible." I didn't really get the prompt as well as I wish I would have.

 

Revisiting My Writing Process

In this blog post, I will look back and reflect on some early blog posts in which I wrote about my writing habits.

"Unmotivated Pug," Olivia Wann (@nakedpugs via instagram).

After reading my first blog posts, I realized that I know myself pretty well. The way that I do things may change a bit from time to time, but old habits die hard! I still focus most of my energy on the drafting process as opposed to being a heavy reviser (I'm more of a planner). As for my calendar, I read about how in  the beginning of the year I hated my job, and it took up a lot of time. Big surprise- I quit! I love my new job, and have been doing a lot better at managing homework time because I work more reasonable hours. I have been putting some things before homework this semester, but I still get my homework done! I have turned in a few late assignments, but it happens. I think its more important than anything to find a balance. If you're freaking out over assignments and loosing sleep, you're just not doing it right.

Reflection on Project 3

In this blog post, I will reflect on the writing process for project 3.

"Done" (via Alfatango).

1. A lot was revised, because the first draft was just a script. I had to revise the script when I was actually filming in order to make it sound more natural. For example, I had to make it sound like how I actually talk, and feel more conversational.

2. I reconsidered organization because planning to film something doesn't always work out. I had to add a slide with the recipe to make the flow better. I also had to film three segments because I had to break to put some of the recipe together so that the video wasn't long and filled with me prepping anything.

3. I felt strongly about my audience and purpose. I didn't make changes because of either of these reasons. I only made changes for the purpose of attempting to smoothly film a video.

4. I hope that all of the changes make me more credible. I know that when I watch a video, I will discredit it if it looks like shit. If it isn't well put together or if the speaker is fumbling over their words.

5. The changes that I made will better address the audience because it will be easier for them to follow, and to keep their attention.

6. I made sentences more conversational because they were to be spoken instead of read. I turned some words into contractions (can't instead of cannot). I also cut out some sentences in the introduction, because it was over 2 minutes itself, and I didn't want the video to be longer than 3 when it was all put together.

7.These changes will help my audience understand that I'm not trying to bore them with scientific facts, or go on a rant. I wanted to explain why I was presenting a recipe without artificial sweeteners, and then do the demonstration.

8. I had to reconsider length. A lot of the videos in this genre are super long, and that just wasn't what I was going for. There was no way that I was going to shoot a 15 minute video because I didn't have the resources.

9. Reflection makes you go over your work, and realize what you could have done better. It isn't the point to realize that you messed up and get upset, but to think "how will this be better next time?"

Publishing Public Argument

In this blog post, I will present my 3rd project and answer some questions about it.

1. Mark with an "x" where you feel your target audience currently stands on the issue (before reading/watcing/hearing your argument) below:

←----------------------------------------------x------|--------------------------------------------------------->

Strongly                                            Totally neutral                                                    Strongly

agree                                                                                                                          disagree

2. Now mark with an "x" where you feel your target audience should be (after they've read/watched/heard your argument) below:

←-------x---------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------->

Strongly                                            Totally neutral                                                    Strongly

agree                                                                                                                          disagree

3. Check one (and only one) of the argument types below for your public argument:

         _______ My public argument establishes an original pro position on an issue of debate.

         _______ My public argument establishes an original con position on an issue of debate.

         _______ My public argument clarifies the causes for a problem that is being debated.

         ____x___ My public argument proposes a solution for a problem that is being debated.

         _______ My public argument positively evaluate a specific solution or policy under debate (and clearly identifies the idea I'm supporting).

         _______ My public argument openly refutes a specific solution or policy under debate (and clearly identifies the idea I'm refuting).

4. Briefly explain how your public argument doesn’t simply restate information from other sources, but provides original context and insight into the situation:

My public argument provides original context by presenting the issue of artificial sweeteners, but shows how people can solve the problem themselves (by cooking food with natural sugar).

5. Identify the specific rhetorical appeals you believe you've employedi n your public argument below:

Ethical or credibility-establishing appeals

                    _____ Telling personal stories that establish a credible point-of-view

                    _____ Referring to credible sources (established journalism, credentialed experts, etc.)

                    _____ Employing carefully chosen key words or phrases that demonstrate you are credible (proper terminology, strong but clear vocabulary, etc.)

                    _____ Adopting a tone that is inviting and trustworthy rather than distancing or alienating

                    _____ Arranging visual elements properly (not employing watermarked images, cropping images carefully, avoiding sloppy presentation)

                    _____ Establishing your own public image in an inviting way (using an appropriate images of yourself, if you appear on camera dressing in a warm or friendly or professional manner, appearing against a background that’s welcoming or credibility-establishing)

                    ___x__ Sharing any personal expertise you may possess about the subject (your identity as a student in your discipline affords you some authority here)

                    _____ Openly acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them intelligently

                    ___x__ Appealing openly to the values and beliefs shared by the audience (remember that the website/platform/YouTube channel your argument is designed for helps determine the kind of audience who will encounter your piece)

                    _____ Other: 

Emotional appeals

                    _____ Telling personal stories that create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    _____ Telling emotionally compelling narratives drawn from history and/or the current culture

                    _____ Employing the repetition of key words or phrases that create an appropriate emotional impact

                    ___x__ Employing an appropriate level of formality for the subject matter (through appearance, formatting, style of language, etc.)

                    _____ Appropriate use of humor for subject matter, platform/website, audience

                    _____ Use of “shocking” statistics in order to underline a specific point

                    ___x__ Use of imagery to create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    _____ Employing an attractive color palette that sets an appropriate emotional tone (no clashing or ‘ugly’ colors, no overuse of too many variant colors, etc.)

                    _____ Use of music to create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    _____ Use of sound effects to create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    ___x_ Employing an engaging and appropriate tone of voice for the debate

                    _____ Other: 

Logical or rational appeals

                    _____ Using historical records from credible sources in order to establish precedents, trends, or patterns

                    _____ Using statistics from credible sources in order to establish precedents, trends, or patterns

                    _____ Using interviews from stakeholders that help affirm your stance or position

                    ___x__ Using expert opinions that help affirm your stance or position

                    ___x__ Effective organization of elements, images, text, etc.

                    ___x__ Clear transitions between different sections of the argument (by using title cards, interstitial music, voiceover, etc.)

                    ____x_ Crafted sequencing of images/text/content in order to make linear arguments

                    _____ Intentional emphasis on specific images/text/content in order to strengthen argument

                    ___x__ Careful design of size/color relationships between objects to effectively direct the viewer’s attention/gaze (for visual arguments)

                    _____ Other:

6. I am not linking to diabetic living videos because viewers of this blog will not have access to the videos without a subscription. I am linking to a youtube cooking channel that has diabetic-friendly recipes similar to diabetic living. Example 1 Example 2 Example 3

Reflection on Project 3 Draft

In this blog post, I will reflect on my rough draft, as well as the process of peer-review.

"Fish in Water" (via PDPics). 

I peer-reviewed Jon and Carrie Belle.  Here is my review on Jon's, and here is my review on Carrie Belle's.

Jon reviewed my rough draft.

He shared a copy of my draft with comments, and I didn't get a review sheet filled out in my e-mail. He was encouraging about what I can add to my argument, and he also had some suggestions about the video which was helpful.

I think that just shooting the video will be the hardest. I had practiced and it was really hard not to mess-up. Having a video with a bunch of studders will take away from the information that I'm actually trying to present. I think that taking the time to take multiple takes of the video will be helpful.

I'm feeling pretty good about my project. I know that it will take a lot of work to get it perfect, and cooking the recipe will be a lot of work.

Draft of Public Argument

In this blog post, I will provide a draft of my project 3. Since my final project will be a cooking video, my draft will be the script that I will follow in the video. This is because I will be making the recipe and shooting once in one day.

"Best Gadgets Cooking" (via Popsugar).  

Here is the link. Feel free to comment! My draft is simply my script for my video, which I will shoot next week. I feel comfortable with just the text-based draft because I am going to pretty much follow the script. The only thing that my peers won't see is the recipe demonstration, but I am fairly confident that it will go smoothly.

Considering Visual Elements

In this blog post, I will answer some questions from the textbook regarding visual components of my project.

"Visual Design" (via Mindflash). 

 The background for my project will be my kitchen. This is relevant because it shows that the food is homemade. Homemade foods are associated with more natural ingredients.

I will be using text in order to make a start screen. The font will be something more in the style of handwriting in order to fit the style of natural. A font like this would seem more technical.

I will not be using any pictures or images in my video. I feel like the video has enough visual to it.

I am asking my audience to try the recipe themselves, and explore the options that they have as an alternative to sugar. This is clear in my video because I will explicitly say this.

My audience will know the consequences of not taking action because in the beginning of the video, I will say the risks  of consuming artificial sweeteners on a regular basis.

In this video, there will be a natural flow because it will not be sections placed together. It will be a talk show like video with a recipe demonstrated.

Project 3 Outline

In this blog post, I will create an outline for my 3rd project, the cooking video.

"Video 3" (via easternfisheries). 

For the introduction of the video, I will use the technique called "Define or Narrow the Problem." This makes the most sense because I want to introduce artificial sweeteners to my viewer, and let them know what the issues are. This sets up the video because I will be providing a recipe that shows alternatives to artificial sweeteners.

Major supporting arguments:
Sweeteners are unnatural,  they cause your body to want more because blood sugar has not changed, they can  upset the micro-bacteria in the gut, many were discovered by accident in a lab, they contain chlorine.

Major Criticisms:
There is no definitive evidence proving that they are harmful, they are fine in moderation, genetically modified foods are safe, they are great for people who cannot have sugar (like diabetics).

Key Support and Rebuttal:
Studies have shown that they do negatively impact the body, going natural is always the safest bet when on a restrictive diet.

Topic Sentences:
Although scientists' studies showed that artificial sweeteners were safe when they were first discovered, new studies with advanced techniques and technology show that artificial sweeteners negatively impact the human body.
(http://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/diet/artificial-sweeteners-fact-sheet)
-Increase in cancers since Aspartame was approved
-Lymphoma and Leukemia occurred in animals fed artificial sweeteners

When on a restrictive diet, such as low carbohydrate, eating natural and raw foods is often the best option because nature has the best recipes.
(http://www.diabetesselfmanagement.com/blog/raw-food-diet-a-do-or-a-dont/)
-Improve Glycemic Control
-Lose Weight

Map of My Argument:
Coggle is formatted in questions that I will be answering in my cooking video.

Conclusion:
I will conclude with "Positive Consequences." I want to leave the viewer with the positives of leading a healthy lifestyle by avoiding artificial sweeteners, and how to consume a diet free of artificial sweeteners.

Reflection:
I read Michaela's Blog and Hunter's Blog.  My classmates seem to have a pretty good idea of what they will create for project 3. I think that the coggle was really helpful to allow me and my classmates to get out thoughts down for what will go into the project.

Analyzing My Genre

In this blog post, I will analyze the Cooking Video Genre and provide examples.

"Online Cooking Videos" (via Real). 

Examples:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five

This genre is typically set on television, youtube, on a cooking website, or linked in various other websites.

The subject of cooking videos is obviously food. There are many subdivisions such as desserts, quick and easy, low calorie and health.

This genre is used by people who like to cook. Celebrity cooks make videos, but anyone can make a cooking video too.

The genre is used to teach people how to make food, and also to be entertaining. This genre is used when someone has an idea about a good recipe and wants to share it.

There is often little text included, except maybe portions listed and a title. The main content is visual and verbal.

Most often logos is used. This is simply by the chef talking and explaining things logically. Another may be ethos, because the speaker is trying to establish that they are a good chef and that you should try out their recipe.

The cooking videos are organized with an explanation first. What is the benefits of the recipe, is it healthy, etc. Then the process of cooking, and a wrap up at the end. The samples follow this process, along with just about all other cooking videos.

Since cooking videos are verbal, there is no set sentence style. Verbally, the style is typically well rehearsed and  formal, meaning you don't say things like "um" or "so."

Word choice is usually descriptive. You are trying to convince your audience that what you're making is good, so you want to use adjectives.

The genre of cooking videos as a whole includes people who like to cook. This would typically exclude people under 18 or so. Cooking videos are usually watched by the person in a household who cooks. This genre excludes people who don't watch TV or use the internet.

The genre assumes that people value health and cooking.

The genre treats food as most valuable. This would mean that they don't value eating out or buying things pre-made.

Reflection:
I read Grace's Blog and Hunter's Blog. They are both doing text based assignments (a power point and a blog post). I definitely wanted to take this as an opportunity to move away from a written project, but more power to them as writers!

Considering Types

In this blog post, I will look at different types of public argument, and discuss which would be bet suited for me.

"Arguments" (via Zazzle). 

I think that the style that will work best for me is the proposal argument. It doesn't really appeal to me to compose an argument that offers no solution. I want to offer help to people with diabetes who are looking for alternatives to artificial sweeteners. Since I think I want to do a cooking show, I think that it is most likely to propose an option.

I do not want to compose a position argument, because I do not want to tell people that sweeteners are good or bad. I just want to help them explore other options.

I don't think that refutation would be good either because I don't really want to take a side. I think that diabetic health should be taken seriously, and it doesn't create any progress to just call out a side of an argument.


I think that the only other type that I would even consider writing would be a causal argument. Why were artificial sweeteners created? Why do people eat them? What causes people to be skeptical? I think that it is interesting to look at the root of the problem because it can lead to the problem being solved.

Reflection:
I read Bailey's Rhetorical Plan, Bailey's Considering Types, Stef's Rhetorical Plan, and Stef's Considering Types. I think that both of them made good calls on what will work for their projects and what won't work for their projects. Reading their posts reassured me that I feel confident about the type of argument that I will use.

My Rhetorical Action Plan

In this blog post, I will identify my plan of action rhetorically, which will make the process of writing project 3 easier.

"Making a Plan" (via Examiner). 

The audience for my argument, as identified in earlier posts, will be diabetics over 15 years old consume artificial sweeteners.

It is hard to know what people know about a topic. I will assume that my audience knows that artificial sweeteners are readily available and consumed. I will also assume that my audience knows that there is some controversy surrounding the safety and impacts of artificial sweeteners. Since my audience consumes artificial sweeteners, I will assume that they view them as safe.

The values of diabetics will be health-oriented. These are people who put a lot of time and effort into what they eat, and making sure that their blood sugar is at the correct levels. I will have to translate the research into easy to read, because these are just your everyday people.

I want to provide research that shows alternatives to artificial sweeteners, so that the diabetics can make their own choice. If their choice is still artificial sweeteners, that is fine, but I want them to feel educated.

Since the topic is food, I think that visuals are very important. If you are trying to make people want something healthy, you have to make it look good too.

My audience is listening to my argument because they want to be informed, and empowered to make their own decisions. I think that my argument will expand their knowledge, and they will consider alternatives.

My first idea for the argument is a cooking episode. Here is an example of a cooking episode that provides information with a demonstration. Here is another example of a cooking show that is informative. This genre informs and shows an example recipe. This could be posted on a blog or internet website. This is more informal, and uses the visual of actually making a healthy low sugar recipe. Rhetorical strategies are presented verbally.

Another idea would be a narrated video with slides and text. Here is an example of a narrated slide show. Here is another very similar one. This genre is visual, but not a demonstration. This could be posted on youtube or a blog. This is a bit more formal than the cooking show, and uses the visuals of a slide show. Rhetorical strategies are presented textually and visually.

I would like to see people motivated about diabetic cooking. I want people to find alternatives to sweeteners. I would also like to see people using sweeteners in addition to alternatives, if that's what they want.

People could wonder how good the low sugar food actually tastes. In this case, I would invite them to try the recipe that I present themselves. People could say that there is no problem with cooking with sweeteners, in this case I would urge them to try the recipe, but not stop eating what they want. Lastly, people could think that my recipe is disgusting, and in that case, I would tell them that they don't have to eat it.

Analyzing Purpose

In this blog post, I will take a look at the purpose of the argument that I will be participating in for project 3.

"Purpose" (via vimeo). 

As a result of my public argument, I want people to stop telling other people what to eat. I also want people to stop trying to get the government to mandate what people eat. I want companies to have to put on their labels whether or not something contains an artificial sweetener, so that people can make the decision for themselves.

Likely results from my argument: people feel informed about artificial sweeteners, don't feel like I tried to make them eat sweeteners or not eat sweeteners, agree that they want their food labeled so that they know if they are eating sweeteners, see why the government shouldn't mandate artificial sweeteners.

Unlikely results: agree with my argument completely, feel like they should or should eat sweeteners based on my argument, get angry after reading my paper.

For example, people could agree that they want their food labeled so that they can decide if there are sweeteners. If this happened, companies could possibly put on the label, "contains an unnatural sweetener." I feel really annoyed when I buy something that has a sweetener because companies slip in sweeteners and they're called crazy names and I have no idea what they are. This could cause less people like me to waste money and feel annoyed at companies.

Like I said in a previous post, the people who would be most interested would be diabetics and women over 30. This is because they are main consumers that I have personally noticed. These people should want to be informed about the pros and cons of sweeteners so that they can make their own decisions. I think that diabetics shouldn't feel as though they have no other options for enjoying food except having sweeteners. Of course, if that's what they want, they should have it, but they should know their options.

Analyzing Context

In this blog post, I will take a look at the context of the argument that I will be participating in.

"Context Matters" (via ContextFM).

The key perspectives in the debate over artificial sweeteners is that they should be consumed, or they should not be consumed. There are many other opinions that branch off from those two ideas.

Among the perspectives, the major disagreement is over the impact on the body. There are studies showing both ways.

A possible point of agreement is that artificial sweeteners have no health value. Another point of agreement may be that they should be consumed in moderation. The second point may be harder to prove, because there are many people who do not consume them in moderation.

The ideological differences between the groups are centered around "naturalness." There are people who think that science is progressing and improving food, and there are people who are hesitant to accept it because it is "unnatural."

The perspective of the anti-sweeteners asks people to stop eating sweeteners, while the perspective of pro-sweeteners asks the reader to make their own choice.

The fact that many people consume artificial sweeteners, and the fact that the FDA allows artificial sweeteners helps my argument. Also, the perspective that the general American population consumes artificial sweeteners helps my argument. I chose these because people using them in their coffee every morning shows a lot.

I think that there are definitely studies that show that sweeteners are bad for you, but I don't see that as a threat because my argument is not just a black-and-white argument where I say "yes bad," or "no, good."

Reflection:
I read Lia's Blog and Grace's Blog.  I'm definitely interested in their arguments because I have opposing views to both of their papers. I think that a paper is more interesting when it has a view other than your own because the whole time, you're like, "are they gonna pull this off?"

Audience and Genre

In this blog post, I will identify the audience that I will be trying to reach in the presentation of my argument.

"Personalize" (via AlleeCreative). 

One target audience for the argument over artificial sweeteners are diabetics. Diabetics would be interested because these are the people who have to look for alternatives to sugar. The magazine Diabetic Living, the website Diabetes Forecast, or the website Diabetes Self-Management would all be places to publish. In this case, a magazine article, a website article, or even a video that could be uploaded to the site would all work. Here is an example of a diabetic article centered around what to eat.

Another target audience would be women over 40. I chose this group because I see a lot of older women over 40 using over sweeteners. A lot of my mom's friends use them, and also after working in a restaurant, I also noticed that the majority of users were older women. This audience could be reached on Women's Day Magazine, the Dr. OZ Show, or Women's Health Mag. This would mean that the piece could be written as a newspaper article, TV segment, or magazine blurb. Here is an example of a health article published for women.

Extended Annotated Bibliography

In this blog post I will share the link for my annotated bibliography for the third project.

"Bibliography" (via SpiGlobal). 

Here is the link to my bibliography.

Narrowing My Focus

In this blog post, I will hone in on a few questions in order to gain focus.

"Focus" (via Veda House). 

The questions that I choose were:
Have any countries "banned" artificial sweeteners?
Are there any celebrities that have strong feelings about artificial sweeteners?

I thought that the first question was important because it is important to include a global perspective for an argument. For example, if artificial sweeteners are banned in 3 countries, it would be a good fact if arguing why they are bad.

I chose the second question because I thought that it was interesting. People love knowing about famous people's opinions. Like how Jenny McCarthy is anti shots, and people only care what she's saying because she's famous.

Questions About Controversy

In this blog post, I will announce what debate I will be participating in.  Also, I will identify for questions about the controversy.

"Questions" (via Thernantic). 

I will participate in the debate over artificial sweeteners.

Who-
What companies are against artificial sweeteners?
What companies use which artificial sweeteners?
Are there any celebrities who have strong feelings about artificial sweeteners?

What-
What are the facts/ studies proving artificial sweeteners are bad?
What are the facts/ studies proving artificial sweeteners are ok?
Is there any evidence that artificial sweeteners are better than regular sugar?

When-
When were artificial sweeteners first widely used?
When did they start manufacturing "diet" soda?
When did evidence against artificial sweeteners first come out?

Where-
What other countries use artificial sweeteners?
Have any places "banned" artificial sweeteners?
Where were artificial sweeteners first used?

How-
How were artificial sweeteners discovered?
How do they impact the industry?
How are artificial sweeteners reported on?

Reflection on Project 2

In this blog post, I will reflect on the process of writing my second project.

"Pink Flamingos" (via iphotos). 

1. In the revision from rough draft to final, I listened to the suggestions of my peers, and the textbook. I definitely changed my intro and conclusion. I realized that my intro was boring. I also fixed some structural errors and grammatical mistakes.

2. I reconsidered where my thesis should go. Before, I had it in the second paragraph, but realized that it was more effective in the first, which is where a thesis typically is.

3. The changes were due to suggestions- not because I didn't have confidence in myself, but because I realized that the suggestions in the book and my peers probably suggested the changes for a  good reason.

4. My revisions did not make me any less credible as an author. The purpose of the article is to teach people who are new to my field, and I just would want to write the best essay for them to read.

5. Having a more interesting essay will make the reader more interested and excited about studying nutrition. A boring article could make a student second guess their choice. No one wants to realize that what they're studying is boring.

6. My peers helped me with sentence structure and style. As a writer, sometimes you write things that make sense to you, but someone else reads it and it sounds like gibberish. For example, I had written a sentence in my introduction that I thought was really great, and my peer said that I should split it into two different sentences.

7.These changes will help my reader because it is hard to get the point across if they can't even read my essay because some sentences don't make sense. It takes away from my credibility.

8. I am pretty used to writing essays because it is what I did when I was in high school, so I didn't really have to remind myself of conventions.

9. Reflection helps the writer clear up thoughts. It is hard to feel a certain way about your essay unless you analyze yourself as a writer.

Reflection:
I read Chris' Blog and Bailey's Blog. Reading their reflections we reassuring because they went through some of the same struggles that I did. Chris made changes in his essay in order to provide clarity to the audience, which I also did. Bailey made changes to ensure that she properly addressed her audience. These are both things that I improved on as well.

Project 2

In this blog post, I will share the link to my final project 2.

"Project Outline Logo" (via Icon Shut).

Here is the link to my second project.

Punctuation, Part 2

In this blog post, I will present 3 more sections from the punctuation part of Rules for Writers.

"Punctuation" (via BambooCreative Inc).

1. Quotation Marks- This section covers proper use of quotation marks. It is important to remember that when using a very long quote, you do not use quotation marks because you're going to use an indented format. Also, single quotations are used (like 'this') when there is a quote within what you are quoting.

2. End Punctuation- This section goes over the end punctuation, such as a period, question mark, or exclamation point. A good point that the book makes is that when you are saying that so and so asked you a question, that is a statement, so there would not be a question mark at the end.

3. Other Punctuation Marks- This section covers everything else that is considered a punctuation mark. This includes dashes, parenthesis, brackets, ellipsis, and slash. The slash is used mainly to separate lines of poetry. The ellipsis is a set of three periods and is used to show that you are deleting words in a sentence.

Paragraph Analysis 2

In this blog post, I will provide a copy of my project 2, but it will contain my own analysis instead of peer review.

"Analysis with Magnifying Glass" (via AppianInsight).

Here is the link to my analysis of project 2 google doc. My paragraphs are logically organized, but could be improved to have smoother transitions. For example, in one paragraph, I end the paragraph with a quote, and that definitely need to be changed. Typically, my opening sentences work well to introduce topics, but like I said, the ending sentences can generally be improved.

Revised Conclusion

Similarly to the previous post, in this blog post I will rewrite my conclusion from scratch.

I will definitely use my new conclusion instead of my old one. The old one was similar because I knew that I wanted to focus on "so what." My old conclusion was way too short, and didn't cover all of the points that the new one does.

"Economic Weekly" (via RBS). 

New Conclusion:
When analyzing an act of public argument, it is important that you cover all of your bases. Doing research on the author is crucial because it can give you insight into their credibility and any biases that they may have. Looking into the target audience can show you why they use the techniques that they do to prove their points. Also, look at the strategies that they use. Are they focusing on one more than the other? Why do they use the ones that they do? In the field of nutrition, you must look at all sides of the story in order to provide the most unbiased argument as possible.

Old Conclusion:

When rhetorically analyzing a public speech in the field of nutrition, it is always important to look at it from all angles. Does it cover all sides? Does it present studies? What strategies does it use? One thing that we can learn from Alison is that we can’t agree with a writer just because something is trendy. A good nutritionist does not follow trends, they follow facts.  

Revised Introduction

In this blog post, I will write a completely different introduction than the one that I currently have.

I do think that the new introduction is successful because it has a more interesting opening sentence. However, I want to have the two paragraph introduction format, because I feel like it is more specific to the essay that I am writing. I will definitely change the opening sentence.

"Idea" (via Forbes). 

 New Introduction:

Would you still eat at your favorite restaurant if you knew that they were lying to you about what they put into your food? If you answered no, and Chipotle is your favorite restaurant, then you are in some trouble. In the article, "Chipotle is Being Sued Over Its Anti-GMO Advertising. Serves Them Right," the author, Alison Griswold uses rhetoric to convince the audience that the company deserves the lawsuit. She also criticizes the audience for avoiding GMOs, assuming that all of her readers think that they are bad.

Past Introduction (2 paragraphs):

Arguments in the field of Nutritional Science are always fueled by the latest breaking news, or fads of what to eat and what to avoid. The reason behind all of the arguments over what one should digest are all of the studies conducted by researchers, scientists, and universities. Rhetorically, authors who write in this discipline write articles that take a strong stance towards one side, and they can often leave out counterarguments. There is really no excuse for this, because you can find studies proving and disproving the safety of eating just about any food- except for things that the general public knows to be harmful (like eating swimming pool chlorine tablets).

In this instance, we will explore the rhetorical strategies used in an article about genetically modified organisms (GMOs). A GMO is a food that was not grown “naturally.” Instead of collecting seeds occurring naturally from a plant, the plant is modified in a lab. GMOs can also include animals, like a chicken or cow. The purpose is to grow food that is bigger, grows faster, and can be grown less expensively. Some view this as “frankenfood,” while others see this as a way to feed our overpopulated planet. There are arguments for and against GMOs. For example, the FDA regulates GMOs, and they claim that all of the genetically engineered foods that they approve are safe for consumption¹. On the other hand, there are people who view GMOs to be unsafe for consumption- the majority of countries do not accept GMOs as safe².

In the article, “Chipotle is Being Sued Over Its Anti-GMO Advertising. Serves Them Right,” the author takes a crack at forcing a one-sided view on the reader, while also accusing them of fearing genetically modified foods. This is an example of how people in the field of Nutritional Science tend to write opinionated articles, without addressing the opposing argument. The author of this article, Alison Griswold, is a journalist for the website Slate. She writes for the “Business and Economics” section, but takes a focus on restaurants, food, and fast-food chains.

Reflection on Project 2 Draft

In this blog post, I will reflect on my rough draft of project two.

"Lythrum Reflection" (via Wikimedia). 

I read Mathias' Blog and Lia's Blog, and provided feedback.

My thesis does not appear in my first paragraph because it fit better towards the  end of the second. I needed some time to explain and give background information before I just jumped to a thesis. As long as the reader isn't automatically assuming that the thesis has to be in a specific place, then they will be able to find it. The thesis does not just use broad terms like "pathos, ethos, logos."

I decided to organize my essay by introducing the thought of teaching a student, introducing my topic (GMOs), introducing the article that I am using, and work through the rhetoric in the article. My paragraphs need to be cleaned up a bit, but they all serve a purpose.

I did not address pathos, because I didn't think that it was relevant to my paper. However, I wrote about the other rhetorical strategies.

I discussed why the author used the strategies that she did. I may go back in and say why she didn't use the ones that she left out of her article.

I used some quotes in my paragraphs, but I think that I could add a few more quotes in just to back up my own arguments with evidence.

According to my peers, I did leave my reader wanting more. One of my peers mentioned that she was left wanting more analysis of the quotes that I used, so that is probably what I will focus on when I make my revisions.

Punctuation, Part 1

This post will review some helpful instructions on punctuation, and how the advice can improve writing.

"TIPID" (via ShopTpet).  

1. The comma- the most helpful information in this section was "Use a comma between coordinate adjectives not joined with and. Do not use a comma between cumulative conjunctions." I personally forget that you don't have to put a comma after "and" when you are writing a list. The rest of the section was fairly obvious, for example use a comma when you are listing items.

2. Unnecessary commas- this section is similar to the previous, but the point is when not to use commas. The best advice was "Do not use a comma between compound elements that are not independent clauses." The example was to not use the comma in the following sentence, "Marie Curie discovered radium, and later applied her work on radioactivity to medicine.

3. The apostrophe- this is something that I am sad to say that I have never mastered. I find myself looking up the correct way to use apostrophes. One that I always get confused about is "its" vs. "it's." It's means it is, and its means it is possessing.

Reflection:
After reading Mathias' Blog, I was able to help him with an issue of needing a comma. His original sentence is "Maybe something big is happening so you tune in to watch the news." I suggested that he added a comma after "happening."

After reading Lia's Blog, I was able to help her with having too many commas. Her original sentence was "Barnett presents a series of propositions: agriculture consumes too much water, so the water will eventually run out or at least become very scarce, which then will increase prices of these agricultural goods, since it will cost more to produce them, and this food is sold to all of the nation, which makes this a nationwide issue." This sentence had so many commas that it became confusing and hard to understand. I suggested that she break it up into two separate sentences, so that she didn't have to use so many commas.

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

Here is the rough draft of my second project, the rhetorical analysis paper.

"Title" (via PerfectlyRoughDraft). 

Practicing Summary and Paraphrase

In this blog post, I will be selecting a quote from my article that I will be using project 2, and under the quote, you will find my paraphrase and summary.

"Pharaphrase" (via EnglishTOEFL). 

Original text:
"I’m just going to say it: Chipotle had this coming. When the chain first announced its anti-GMO push in April as part of its mission to sell “food with integrity,” we argued that dropping GMOs was the wrong way to go about it. The case against GMOs is full of fearmongering, errors, and fraud" (Alison Griswold via Slate). 

Paraphrase: 
Chipotle deserved the lawsuit. Slate knew that Chipotle's switch to non-GMO campaign was the wrong way to solicit responsibly sourced food. Society has an irrational fear of GMOs (Alison Griswold via Slate). 

My Summary of the Original Source: 
Chipotle deserved the lawsuit because campaigning non-GMO is simply reinstating an unreasonable fear. 

Project 2 Outline

In this blog post, I will present and outline of my second project, and also touch on some helpful advice from Writing Public Lives.

"Project Outline" (via circles4). 

The most helpful piece of advice in "The Sections of the Paper" section is the introduction because it was the part I was most unsure about. The writing advises that you leave the bulk of the paper to analyze the rhetorical strategies, and use the introduction to give just enough background on the topic. Another good piece of advice is to develop an analytical claim. A paper will be boring if you just state facts. There needs to be a little bit of controversy in the paper in order for your reader to find it interesting.

Introduction: I will start by addressing the broad section of the prompt, which is the idea of teaching a student who is new to your college how someone in our field makes a public argument, and how they do this rhetorically. This will be mostly be done by showing my paper as an example of how to rhetorically analyze. I will also touch on the background of the article: author, context, audience, so on.

Thesis: My thesis statement will be towards the end of my first or second paragraph. I have decided that I want to use the second, more detailed thesis that I wrote in the previous post.

Paragraphs (including analytical claim): I'm thinking about making my analytical claim revolve on the strict opinion of the author, and her one-sided argument. My paragraphs will probably be shorter, and I want to use each major topic as a paragraph, and the smaller paragraphs that follow will give textual support. Definitely a more complex and interesting body style instead of (like mentioned in class) paragraph 1-pathos, 2-ethos, 3-logos.

Conclusion: Like the reading says, I do not just want to re-run my essay points to pull it all together. I think that my conclusion will be touching back on the idea that you're explaining to a new student. I would like to end with some advice or tips to leave my reader with.

Reflection: After reading Stef's Blog and Joy's Blog. I definitely saw a wide variety from the two. Stef's outline was much more detailed than mine, and Joy's was much less detailed. I think that the more detailed the outline is, the easier it will be to write the rough draft.

Draft Thesis Statement

In this post, I will share some thesis statements that I have constructed based on the Student's Guide reading.

"Chipotle" (via Forbes).

Arguments in the field of nutrition are often fueled by facts and evidence, because there are science and studies available as evidence. Rhetorically, authors become opinionated and don't always show both sides of the story, especially if it opposes their side.

In the article, "Chipotle is Sued for Non-GMO Advertising," the author takes a crack at forcing a one-sided view on the reader, while also accusing them of fearing genetically modified organisms. This is just one example of how people in the field of nutrition tend to write opinionated articles, without addressing the opposing argument.

Of my two statements, the first is very broad, and the second actually talks about the article in my project. I definitely like the second more, but it is hard not to make broad and generalized statements.

I read Lia's blog and Hunter's blog. Lia's thesis statements were more specific, and Hunter's were more similar to mine. I think that it is tough to craft a thesis statement for this project because you have to address the text you will be talking about, and also the question of rhetorical style/strategies.