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2. I reconsidered where my thesis should go. Before, I had it in the second paragraph, but realized that it was more effective in the first, which is where a thesis typically is.
3. The changes were due to suggestions- not because I didn't have confidence in myself, but because I realized that the suggestions in the book and my peers probably suggested the changes for a good reason.
4. My revisions did not make me any less credible as an author. The purpose of the article is to teach people who are new to my field, and I just would want to write the best essay for them to read.
5. Having a more interesting essay will make the reader more interested and excited about studying nutrition. A boring article could make a student second guess their choice. No one wants to realize that what they're studying is boring.
6. My peers helped me with sentence structure and style. As a writer, sometimes you write things that make sense to you, but someone else reads it and it sounds like gibberish. For example, I had written a sentence in my introduction that I thought was really great, and my peer said that I should split it into two different sentences.
7.These changes will help my reader because it is hard to get the point across if they can't even read my essay because some sentences don't make sense. It takes away from my credibility.
8. I am pretty used to writing essays because it is what I did when I was in high school, so I didn't really have to remind myself of conventions.
9. Reflection helps the writer clear up thoughts. It is hard to feel a certain way about your essay unless you analyze yourself as a writer.
Reflection:
I read Chris' Blog and Bailey's Blog. Reading their reflections we reassuring because they went through some of the same struggles that I did. Chris made changes in his essay in order to provide clarity to the audience, which I also did. Bailey made changes to ensure that she properly addressed her audience. These are both things that I improved on as well.
I had the same issue that you did in that I thought a lot of my sentences sounded good, but they were actually a ton of information that needed to be split up into multiple sentences. I also took a great deal of consideration into the peer revision process and I think that it helped a lot. I always find that it helps for someone to go back and tell me what I need to fix, even though it's hard for me to listen to sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you got a lot of help from your peer review process! For me, it wasn't really that helpful, but that's okay because I think at the time a lot of us didn't truly understand the purpose of the project, and therefore it was hard for us to give peer review comments. I also had to change my conclusion and introduction a lot; most of us in the class probably did.
ReplyDeleteHi Olivia! I agree with you on listening to peer suggestions! I think sometimes it is hard to see where you need to make changes in your writing if you're the only one rising it. By utilizing peer suggestions I think one is able to really improve his or her writing. Good job at using them to improve your writing!
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty awesome that you clearly knew what was wrong with your draft and what you needed to do to fix it. That definitely shows maturity in your reflection, as you knew what had to be done in order to make your essay kickass. I definitely feel the same way about peer revision; I feel it really helped my paper expand.
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ReplyDeleteIt's good that you realize where your flaws lie and how and where you can fix them. I think that fixing the style like you said could really help the fluidity of your essay. Also, i can relate that the peers comments helped me a lot. Without the help of others, i might have still been totally lost and swimming. Good luck!
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