Clairity, Part 2

I would like to introduce four more clarity topics. They can be used as guides to revise your own work, and are found in Rules for Writers.

"Clarity" (via Rochel Marie Lawson).

1. Find the Exact Words. Even if you think that you know what a word may mean, use a dictionary, because even if you are right, it still may be possible to find a better word. Also, avoid cliches because they can often make something seem less genuine. If you actually explain what you mean, you can reach your audience a lot better.

2. Choose Appropriate Language. When writing about a topic that is specific, for example science related, avoid jargon. Jargon is specific terms that practices use, for example, a doctor may say, "the patient's chem panel came back looking good," instead of "the patient's blood test results are normal."

3. Tighten Wordy Sentences. This means that you shouldn't use words that you don't need to. It is pretty self-explanatory, but I forget this a lot. Don't be repetitive, and don't say things that don't mean anything.

4. Provide some Variety. Using sentences with different lengths and structures helps keep your reader interested in what you are writing. Switch it up- try starting with a verb instead of a subject.  '

When revising my essay, I found that I needed to focus on a little bit of everything, and the four points were all useful when editing.

Example 1: below is my opening paragraph, I considered "provide some variety," and chose the short sentence to mix it up.

The popular soda brand Pepsi has listened to their customers, and has taken aspartame out of their diet cola. Of course, when you take out one zero calorie sweetener, you must replace it with another. Pepsi chose sucralose. Although there is no artificial sweetener deemed perfect, there is controversy surrounding the company’s switch because of possible health hazards associated with consuming the artificial sweetener.

Example 2: Below is a sentence that I revised to make it more simple and less wordy.

The companies that choose to use sucralose as an artificial sweetener certainly stand by it.

The companies that use sucralose stand by their decision.